Utah has Mormons. What do you have?

If any of you have ever worked in customer service, you are well aware of the fact that we live in a society filled with crazy people. Not crazy in a bad way, but crazy in the sense that life can be endlessly entertaining as long as you don't take people too seriously. For the past four years, we've kept a running list of the best visitor questions. There's something about a person in uniform, trapped behind a desk, that suddenly forces visitors to ask a question; even if they don't need anything in particular, they'll come up with something, like it's some sort of obligation.

And of course we're completely professional and answer their question with honesty and integrity...we just start laughing once they've left the visitor center. Here are some of my favorites:

2002
-It’s not Disneyland, but it’s pretty.
-I’m feeling dizzy. I think it’s altitude sickness. What is the elevation here? (answer: 550 ft)
-Is it required to have a beard to work at the VC?
-Do you chill white or red wine?
-Do you sell mayonnaise?
-Does it usually cloud over when it rains here?

2003
-Do you have any campgrounds without flying ants?
-Where can I get a good view of the SE sky?
-Can I see mountains here?
-So when do the deer change into elk?
-What’s north of you? (Canada) What’s north of Canada? (umm. Alaska?)
-Utah has Mormons. What do you have?
-Is Death Valley included in your park?

2004
-Where’s the liquor store?
-Are the views of the mountains weather dependent?
-Are Indians allowed to go to regular schools?
-What is the deepest point of the ocean that man is aware of?
-Are you telling me this is not a state park? I’ve been coming here for twenty years and I know this is a state park!

2005
-What is the meaning of life?
-I’m going canoeing on Ross Lake. Who do I call if I don’t come back?
-Staff: Hi, how are you today? Visitor: I don’t know. Staff: Can we help you with anything? Visitor: I don’t know. My wife makes all the decision.
-That park movie was sexy! Typical American film.
-If I have to watch that film again, I’ll shave my head and sell flowers at the airport!

2006
-What could possibly go wrong?
-You know, I’m just not that interested in forests…I like to have sex in the woods though.
-Shamanism! That’s what your film is about.
-Are you a lifeguard?
-Boy: Does that wheel chair belong to anyone?
Staff: It belongs to the Visitor Center.
Boy: Can I ride around in it?
Staff: Sorry, we need to save it for the people who might really need one.
Boy: Don’t the people who need one usually come with one?

Sigh. I love people.