Reflections: The Process

Within this past week, I’ve finished my first draft of my written thesis, as well as my 10th full-scale pencil drawings. As I look back on this past month, I honestly don’t remember anything other than working in the studio. It’s just a blur of working at my desk until midnight, going home, sleeping, dreaming about IP, waking up, and doing it all over again. That fervor and work ethic kinda scares me. I’m not sure if I could be that kind of full-time studio artist because I’m afraid I would be missing out on life by staying in the studio all day. I need diversity in my work- not working on the same drawings over and over again. Especially these drawings, which are so formal and structured and methodical and detail-oriented. I’m proud of my high aesthetic expectations I have, but I’m also looking forward to loosening up my approach after IP. I need much more spontaneity and fun in my work. I also miss being engaged with other human beings (at least, with those exist outside of the studios) and being outside (I partially blame the winter).

I’m not regretting this past month at all, but it’s just a realization that I couldn’t live/work like this for the rest of my life. I’m very proud of what I accomplished- I pushed myself very very hard. Accomplishments include doing 75 concept drawings in 3 days, my first 40+ studio work week (on top of regular class and working at Sweetwaters), and working on IP everyday since December 27. But at what cost? How many opportunities did I pass up to hang out with friends during my last semester of college? Will it all be worth it in April at my final exhibition?

I found the following quote:
“A professional is someone who does the things he loves, even on the days that he doesn’t want to do them”

And I found that very relevant.

I’m thinking like this because I’m considering just how much more I want to continue in my current direction with my project. For each new drawing I start, that means another more 30 hrs (pencil, ink, watercolor, document, matt) and $40 in materials (framing and matting). So I’ve finished 10 drawings…do I have the time and energy to invest in another 5 drawings, know that it means 150 hrs and $200? Or more importantly, could I focus my energy in a different direction that would make for a richer IP experience than sticking it out just to have 15 straight illustrations? I think so.

I’m taking today off from the studio, just for more perspective and reflection. In the last month, I’ve proven to myself that yes, I can work at this pace. But I’ve also learned that if I am to sustain my creativity and love for what I do, I need to have better work habits- a system where there is more room for different on-going projects, more spontaneity, fun, and interaction with other people and the world outside of my studio. I recognize that while I do need a strict studio practice to fulfill my creative projects, it can’t be my only way of working. If my work is in response to the world around me, what would happen if the only world I surround myself in is my studio?

What does this mean for the immediate future? Monday is my self-imposed deadline for finishing the pencil drawings and I’m happy to put down the pencil for a while. But before I pick up my pen and start inking over the drawings, I’m going to take a step away to work on other, but related projects:

-I’m really excited to have my ranger presentation at the Sh/aut cabaret on the 15th. I’m going to take some time to write out and rehearse: Single is Safer: Mother’s Nature’s top reasons why you’re better off being alone” I’ve got some great examples and am going to do some quick fun hand-drawn illustrations for the Powerpoint. I also think it’d be very easy to apply the text and images to something I can exhibit in April.
-I also need to focus on writing up the paragraphs to accompany each final illustration I’ve worked on this past month.
-And I’m excited to start building my website as well (I already own www.michael-liang.com).

So I should be okay if I take a week or two break from these final illustrations, right? I’ll be here over Spring Break anyway.

Okay, phew. That’s quite the brainstorm.

Oh yeah, and I’m doing alright. I don’t feel overly stressed or anxious about all this. I know this is all part of the learning process.